One of the key tasks of leadership is to become increasingly differentiated. Our primary task, like Jesus, is to calmly differentiate our “true self” from the demands and voices around us, discerning the unique life the Father has given us . This requires that I get calm and clear about what God has given me to do, that I take the necessary time to get clear about my values and goals, and that I get the core of my validation needs met from His love. The following is a self-inventory to help you determine if you are growing in your level of differentiation:
- Your life is becoming easier.
- You are able to distinguish between thinking and feeling.
- You have a greater ability to manage your triggers.
- You worry less about what others think.
- People in your family do better.
- Your goals become clearer.
- You have an ability to “stay out” of others’ emotions.
- You have a greater curiosity.
- You are thinking more clearly.
- You thinking systems more often as you consider those you lead.
- You enjoy better physical health.
- You are able to take a well thought-out position in the midst of tension.
- More of your goals become realities.
- You have better, cleaner relationships.
How did you do? When might you carve out some time to get alone with God and journal about what God might be saying to you?