This week’s podcast explores the first pillar of building a deep inner life out of which we lead for Jesus: face your shadow. This requires confronting those parts of who we are that we prefer to neglect, forget, or deny, and it is our most difficult leadership task. Parker Palmer expresses this process best: Everything in us cries out against it. That is why we externalize everything — ​it is far easier to deal with the exterior world. It is easier to spend your life manipulating an institution than dealing with your own soul. We make institutions sound complicated and hard and rigorous, but they are simplicity itself compared with our inner labyrinths. I build on the material found in The Emotionally Healthy Leader in this podcast, providing additional avenues to get at this largely unconscious, damaged but mostly hidden version of who we are. Why? As we begin facing our shadows, we discover it is. Read more.

Many staff teams, seminaries, training centers, boards, and Christian colleges/Bible schools use The Emotionally Leader (Zondervan, 2015) as a foundational text on leadership. Along with the book, some have used our free Emotionally Healthy Leader Discussion Guide, as well as any podcasts or YouTube videos they can find to supplement their readings. To serve you, and this growing audience, this week launches the first of nine podcasts from The Emotionally Healthy Leader on “The Emotionally Unhealthy Leader.” I begin by describing the four characteristics of an emotionally unhealthy leader: They have low self-awareness They prioritize ministry over their marriage or singleness They do more activity for God than their relationship with God can sustain They lack a Sabbath/work rhythm. The problem is compounded by the unhealthy, and largely unspoken, commandments which dominate our Christian leadership cultures. “It’s Not a Success Unless It’s Bigger and Better” “What You Do Is More Important than Who You. Read more.

When I shared, a few weeks ago, on my list of biggest leadership regrets, it was quite easy to identify my top one – mistakes I made around dual relationships and power. For this reason, I felt compelled to dedicate a podcast to explore this theme more formally and clearly. I approach it here through my reading of the chapter entitled “Power and Wise Boundaries” from the audio version of The Emotionally Healthy Leader. I discovered over the years that I was not alone. Almost every church, nonprofit organization, and Christian community I know bears deep scars and hurt around this issue. I believe that is because very little teaching and mentorship is done in this area. Every leader exercises stewardship of power, i.e. we have a capacity to influence others. That power is God-given. When we under-use our power out of fear, a need to be liked, or an aversion to conflict, we hurt. Read more.

Rushing ahead of God and impatience were re-occurring themes for me in My Biggest Regrets podcasts that I recorded these past two weeks. As a result, in this podcast, I want to invite you to listen to a message from the life of Abraham when he grows weary of waiting and executes an apparently successful plan for God without God. Based on Genesis 16:1-4, we observe amazing parallels to the leadership challenges, pressures, and frustrations we face today. Abraham and Sarah, out of their impatience, birthed a physical son – Ishmael. We too, out of our own impatience, often birth “Ishmaels” as well. This podcast explores The Ishmael Test, four questions to ask ourselves before we launch large decisions for God and his work. They are: Am I afraid to ask God what His will is in this situation? Am I uncomfortable exploring my hidden motivations? Am I avoiding getting counsel from mature others. Read more.

This podcast is Part 2 of my biggest regrets over the last 40 years of my leadership. I complete the list that I began last week. This has been a sobering process for me – deleting some, adding others, digging up a one or two painful ones that I preferred to bury, and then realizing they too deserved to make the list. The early church fathers considered the most precious gift, or charism, in the church to be discretion (i.e. discernment). They understood that without discretion, we are dangerous – speaking too freely, giving people burdens they cannot bear, and offering superficial spiritual counsel. Reflecting on our mistakes and regrets can be a gift if we learn from them. In Part One of My Biggest Regrets I shared my top four: 1. Not understanding dual relationships and power 2. Impatience and rushing in making key decisions 3. Not leading (or listening to God) out of. Read more.

Recently, at a meeting with a number of young pastors, Geri and I were asked, “What has been your greatest regret in leadership?” I was taken aback by the question, unsure of where to begin. There were so many. We talked about dual relationships and power (which led the group into a lively, spirited discussion), but I realized that I needed to think much more about that penetrating question. This led me, over the next several weeks, to ponder the list of my greatest regrets over the last 40 years. I categorized them, edited them, and placed them in an order that began to make sense – at least to me. The process was both painful and freeing. The painful part revolved around vulnerability required to put them down on paper; the freeing part was seeing the love of God who brought me back to himself each time I strayed. I marvel at how. Read more.