Leaders, by definition, are captivated by the future – moving forward, making progress, and changing the world. But what many leaders fail to appreciate is that we are all anchored in our past. In other words, none of us are “blank slates”. We each bring the blessings and curses of our families of origin (Exodus 20:5) into our relationships, churches, organizations, and businesses. Emotionally healthy leaders understand that you cannot go forward without first going backward. That is why the GENOGRAM is one of the core tools in both parts of the Emotionally Healthy Discipleship Course. When I became a Christian, I believed I was a “new creation” (2 Cor. 5:17) and that I no longer needed to deal with my past. However, when I discovered the genogram tool, I found a new way to bring all of the baggage of my family of origin to Jesus to be changed. The truth is –. Read more.

When was the last time someone let you down? ​​​​​​Or can you think of a recent moment where YOU let someone else down? I’ll bet the catalyst of these disappointments comes down to one thing –  unmet expectations. The truth is – unclear and unmet expectations have the power to rip apart relationships, divide staff teams, blow up families, and sink entire churches. That’s why expectations are a matter of life and death! There are 4 primary ways expectations go wrong: Your expectation is unconscious. You didn’t even know you had an expectation until it was violated. Your expectation is unrealistic. It is not reasonable given the person or circumstance. Your expectation is unspoken. You did not clearly articulate your expectation to another person. Your expectation is un-agreed upon. The other person never agreed to follow-through with your expectation. The good news is – this can all be remedied by learning the life-saving skill. Read more.

In over four decades of leadership, I’ve come to the conclusion that one of the biggest gaps in our leadership training comes down to one essential skill… Creating safety where everyone around you feels empowered to communicate clearly and honestly. Without this skill, church teams remain silenced – unable to speak truth and creating the conditions for an environment of frustration, resentment, and judgement. On today’s podcast, I’m joined by my wife Geri, as we explore the first of 8 essential relationship skills that every leader must adopt in order to unleash the God-given voice of our people. We’ll model a powerful skill called “Community Temperature Reading” and talk about how it applies to real life leadership scenarios. Imagine leading a church where every staff, leader, and volunteer knows how to communicate clearly. Imagine a culture, where everyone feels safe to tell the truth and has the skills needed to do so. Imagine the unity that is. Read more.

Could you forgive someone if you knew they murdered your entire family? It sounds far-fetched. But this is the question posed in As We Forgive – a documentary about the tragedies of the 1994 Rwandan genocide and the stories of two women as they came face to face with the men who killed their families. It provoked the question – Would I be capable of forgiving my enemies like this? This is the center point of Jesus’ most shocking, counterintuitive teaching – “Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44) In saying this, Jesus set a new benchmark for love. He turned the new world order upside down. For Christians, the key distinguishing mark of spiritual maturity is the way we love our enemies. In today’s podcast, I walk through the 3 reasons our love often stops short of this measurement, and what we can do to deepen the way we love others. (Hint, this. Read more.

Language builds culture. Recently on the podcast, I shared 5 timeless leadership axioms – portable and powerful phrases that have become adopted by emotionally healthy leaders all around the world. For example…”Jesus may be in your heart, but grandpa is in your bones”. It’s an easier (and more playful) way of getting at the truth that everyone is deeply affected by their family of origin, going back hundreds of years. Today on the podcast, I continue this series by sharing 5 new axioms that I believe you will find helpful. These leadership sayings are extremely useful to adopt as you build a healthy team and church culture. I pray you will memorize them, ponder them, and make space to allow the biblical truth to penetrate you.