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Category Archives: Differentiation

6 Questions for 2014

These six questions come from a longer list Bobb Biehl sent me to consider as I enter into 2014. I found them helpful as I prayerfully considered them in my time with God the last couple of days. I treated them as part of my Midday and Morning Prayer. Take 2 minutes being still before the Lord, listening. Prayerfully, with journal in hand, sit with the following questions: 1. What might GOD IN HEAVEN want us to do in 2014? 2. What is our SINGLE WORD FOCUS for 2014? 3. What 3 MEASURABLE PRIORITIES should we accomplish in 2014? Of the three, which is our NUMBER ONE PRIORITY? 4. What is our NUMBER ONE ROADBLOCK as we face 2014? 5. What was our single GREATEST UNEXPECTED SUCCESS of 2014?  How can we take FULL ADVANTAGE of this unexpected success? 6. What are the 3 THINGS we could do in the NEXT 90 DAYS to. Read more.

Christian and Secular Leadership -The Difference: Part 2

While 50-75% of what we read in excellent secular leadership books may be applicable to a Christian leader, the following qualities make a Christian leader distinct: Our identity is grounded in God who forever says to us, “You are my beloved.”Jesus says to us that we are loved as He is loved.  For this reason we can handle enormous success or enormous failure without losing our identity. A high-quality relationship with God permeates all our relationships and decisions. Our marriage and singleness are a call to become a living sign and wonder of His love to the world. We lead out of our marriages in that our love for our spouses is to be like His love for us – passionate, permanent, intimate, unconditional, and life giving. Our leadership energy is first given to be as present to our spouse as Christ is to us, so that others can see His presence manifested in our tender love. Read more.

Christian and Secular Leadership -The Difference: Part 2

While 50-75% of what we read in excellent secular leadership books may be applicable to a Christian leader, the following qualities make a Christian leader distinct: Our identity is grounded in God who forever says to us, “You are my beloved.” Jesus says to us that we are loved as He is loved.  For this reason we can handle enormous success or enormous failure without losing our identity. A high-quality relationship with God permeates all our relationships and decisions. Our marriage and singleness are a call to become a living sign and wonder of His love to the world. We lead out of our marriages in that our love for our spouses is to be like His love for us – passionate, permanent, intimate, unconditional, and life giving. Our leadership energy is first given to be as present to our spouse as Christ is to us, so that others can see His presence manifested. Read more.

“A Healthy No”

Geri and I received an email yesterday from Sarah, a New Life member, about her application of EHS into her workplace. Hi Pete and Geri! I hope this brightens your day as it did mine! The truth behind boundaries, limits, and emotional health resonates with the affluent parents at the school I teach at! Our students are often committed to many different activities. At our information meeting for our spring musical the past two years, I’ve started painting a picture of “A Healthy No.” I give the students permission to say no if the commitment would be too much for them. Here is an encouraging email I received this morning…. I wanted to thank you for articulating, “A Healthy No,” when you spoke at the Musical Parent’s Meeting last week! I love that phrase and made a note of it when you were speaking. It’s a reasonable and respectful statement for people to both say and hear and. Read more.

Pastoral Burnout and Self-Compassion

A study conducted out of Duke University, published in 2011, looked at the four primary factors of why clergy burnout: Desire to please others. Fear of letting parishioners down or not living up to their expectations can leave clergy depleted….Clergy high in desire to please neglect their hobbies, families, and spirituality, fear letting down congregants, and have a hard time saying no to requests. Clergy low in desire to please reserve time for their personal lives without feeling selfish or anxious about disappointing others. Guilt or shame proneness. Overall, “shame is considered the more painful emotion because one’s core self—not simply one’s behavior—is at stake”. Self-compassion. Self-compassion entails offering kindness, patience, and understanding to oneself during times of failure or disappointment. Individuals high in self-compassion recognize that others go through similar experiences and feel connected rather than isolated during times of pain. (They) neither ignore nor ruminate about their own shortcomings. Differentiation of self from role Beebe (2007) found. Read more.

Pastoral Burnout and Self-Compassion

A study conducted out of Duke University, published in 2011, looked at the four primary factors of why clergy burnout: Desire to please others. Fear of letting parishioners down or not living up to their expectations can leave clergy depleted….Clergy high in desire to please neglect their hobbies, families, and spirituality, fear letting down congregants, and have a hard time saying no to requests. Clergy low in desire to please reserve time for their personal lives without feeling selfish or anxious about disappointing others. Guilt or shame proneness. Overall, “shame is considered the more painful emotion because one’s core self—not simply one’s behavior—is at stake”. Self-compassion. Self-compassion entails offering kindness, patience, and understanding to oneself during times of failure or disappointment. Individuals high in self-compassion recognize that others go through similar experiences and feel connected rather than isolated during times of pain. (They) neither ignore nor ruminate about their own shortcomings. Differentiation of self. Read more.