Category Archives: Differentiation

Leaders that Sabotage Themselves: Part 2

Daniel Goleman’s research on emotional intelligence established that people who fail in life and work has to do, more often, with who they are (EQ) then what they know (IQ). Many people have built on this work over the years. David Dotlich and Peter Cairo in their book, Why CEO’s Fail, identify 11 detailers they consistently found in CEO’s and senior leaders in their work around the world. They are: Arrogance: You’re right and everybody else is wrong. Melodrama: You always grab the center of attention. Excessive Caution: Your mood swings drive business swings. Habitual Distrust: The next decision you make may be your first. Aloofness: You disengage and disconnect. Mischievousness: Rules are made to be broken. Eccentricity: It’s fun to be different just for the sake of it. Passive Resistance: Your silence is misinterpreted as agreement. Perfectionism: Get the little things right even if the big things go wrong. Eagerness to Please: Winning. Read more.

10 Qualities of an Emotionally Healthy Wedding

Out of the experience of our daughter’s wedding last Saturday, we realized there is such a thing as an “Emotionally Healthy Wedding.” Here are a few reflections as to what made it such a distinct, rich experience: 1. We Gave a Gift of a Fixed Amount of Money and Let Go. Because this was a gift, they controlled the wedding, not us. There were no strings attached. They made the decisions and asked us for input along the way 2. We Were Aware of and Managed Our Own Anxieties. There were plenty of things to worry about, from 6 inches of rain the day before our outdoor wedding, to the groom’s grandfather dying 4 days before the big day, to other people’s attitudes that were challenging. We paid attention to it and responded appropriately. 3. We Rejoiced. This was not simply a weekend event, or nine months of preparation, but a lifetime of labor in. Read more.

The Central Park Five

A co-laborer at New Life recently encouraged me to watch The Central Park Five. It is the story of five teenagers – four blacks and one Hispanic, ages 14 to 16, who were arrested and charged with raping and beating, nearly to death, a 28 year old, white woman after dark in Central Park. The boys were portrayed as “beasts,” and “wild animals” with no remorse for their actions. Donald Trump placed full-page ads calling for the return of the death penalty. They spent the next 7-13 years of their lives in prison. Their lives and families were ruined. The problem: They were innocent. The murderer who committed the crime finally admitted it in 2002. This documentary is important to watch for many reasons. Here are my top three: 1. Social class and racial divisions remain a deep reality. The Central Park Five gives us an amazing portrayal of the injustice that befalls so. Read more.

Leadership: Doing What is Required

“Sometimes our best is not enough. We have to do what is required.” Winston Churchill Bob Biehl quoted these words to me after listening to my complaint about the detailed, administrative, technical chores that were before me as a leader. I wanted to write, create, preach and train. Hadn’t I been doing these things for the last 26 years? James March, a former professor on international management at Stanford University, says there are two essential dimensions of leadership: plumbing and poetry. Plumbing refers to the management, i.e. things like fixing the faucet in the bathroom, that are repetitive and often unpleasant. Poetry is the imagination and innovation, the art that most people call ‘leadership.’ “No organizations work if the toilets don’t work,” March argues. Yes, we want to be faithful to our God-given life. At the same time, leadership is servanthood. There are no exemptions from that. “Sometimes our best is not enough. We. Read more.

Jim Collins on Great Organizations and a Great Life

“Suppose you woke up tomorrow and received two phone calls. The first phone call tells you that you have inherited $20 million, no strings attached. The second tells you that you have an incurable and terminal disease, and you have no more than 10 years to live. What would you do differently, and, in particular, what would you stop doing?” Jim Collins tells this story while a student at Stanford’s graduate business school. His teacher said to him, “Instead of leading a disciplined life, you lead a busy life.” This led Collins to make a major shift in his how he allocated the most precious of all resources: time. In his monograph Good to Great and the Social Sector, Collins argues that great organizations have piercing clarity about the intersection of three questions: 1) What are you deeply passionate about? 2) What can you be the best in the world at? 3) What drives your. Read more.

Staying Grounded

Last year, a large psychiatric hospital in Queens opened up a small bookstore a few blocks from my house. The employees are “severely mentally ill adult patients.” I initially began going to buy cheap, second-hand books for $2.00 or less. But I have found myself returning more and more. Why? I finally got it. I return for my soul. I love being with the staff. They are kind, unassuming, and unpretentious. I finally understood why Henri Nouwen became a chaplain for mentally and physically challenged adults at L’Arche. His words below are worth reading slowly. “The first thing that struck me when I came to live in a house for mentally handicapped people was their liking or disliking me had absolutely nothing to do with any of the many useful things I had done until then. Since nobody could read my books, they could not impress anyone, and since most of them never went to. Read more.

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