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LeaderSHIFT: 8 Pivotal Breakthroughs of Emotionally Healthy Leaders

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Category Archives: Discipleship/Formation

Emotionally Healthy Vacations

Vacations offer a unique opportunity to integrate and apply our theology. But like all areas of discipleship (e.g. relationships, sexuality, work, singleness, marriage, retirement, money), this requires intentionality. Otherwise, we fall into the pattern of doing vacations like our family of origin or the wider culture. Each of us comes into vacations differently. Some of us, for example, have small children, aging parents, a special needs child, or severe financial constraints. Moreover, each of us has a specific temperament, personality, and set of passions. Last year, I wrote a blog entitled Turning Your Vacations into Sabbaticals, applying the principles of weekly Sabbaths to our vacations. Here I want to offer you five words, or principles, that have helped Geri and I structure our “vacations” each year: Prayer. This is so obvious that we easily miss it! Take time to be still before the Lord and listen (Ps 37:7). You may be surprised. Thoughtfulness. Wise. Read more.

You Know You are a Perfectionist When…

Pursuing excellence in our leadership is a good thing. Perfectionism is not. Perfectionism, that refusal to accept a standard short of perfection, is the shadow side of excellence – undermining the best of who we are, limiting our ability to love, and damaging our leadership of others. How do I know? I know perfectionism so well in myself. Part of what makes us human is our imperfections and mistakes. Only God is perfect. At times I wonder if the church, in our desire to reach the world for Jesus, has hired a Pharaoh of perfectionism to help us. Sadly, many of us don’t need an external slave driver. We carry our own internal Pharaoh who drives us not to accept flaws and blemishes in our performance. The following are my top 10 signs that God uses to stop me when I fall into the sin of perfectionism: I am anxious – a lot. I. Read more.

Peak: Lessons for Disciple-Making

Occasionally, a seminal book emerges that challenges our way of thinking and opens up new possibilities. Two books have done that for me in 2016 – Reclaiming Conversation by Sherry Turkle (a book I reviewed in this blog), and Peak by Anders Ericsson. For the last 30 years Ericsson has been studying expert performers and prodigies from scientists, to amazing athletes, to brain surgeons, to Olympian gymnasts, to composers, to fighter pilots. Peak is an easy read with fascinating stories of people like Mozart. The book challenged me in thinking about the way we teach, make disciples, and develop new leaders. The following are my top 5 learnings: Deliberate Practice. Nobody develops extraordinary ability without a tremendous amount of practice Top performers have dedicated a large amount of time to develop their abilities. In fact, they keep seeking to improve even when they reach the top of their field. With deliberate practice, things are. Read more.

Jesus: The Relaxed Leader

One reason to regularly meditate on the life of Jesus is his modeling of mature, Spirit-filled leadership. We see this, for example, in his response to the massive defection of his followers after his bread of life sermon: “Because of this many of his disciples turned back and no longer went with him” (John 6:66). Jesus’ brothers panicked. He had lost thousands of followers and the movement appeared to be on the verge of extinction. They urged him to get to Jerusalem as soon as possible and regain momentum, to make an impression. “Do something. You’re losing everyone – leaders, crowds, disciples. Even we have our doubts!” Jesus, however, remained relaxed. This passage powerfully speaks to me because of how many times I have led out of anxiety and fear, especially in situations where it appeared momentum was waning. Jesus offers us 5 keys to becoming a relaxed leader: 1. Remember the sovereignty of. Read more.

Your Shadow and Your Leadership

The challenge for us as leaders is the self-awareness to discern how our shadow impacts the way we lead– e.g. decision-making, strategic planning, team building, ways we deal with conflict, and transitions. When I first wrote The Emotionally Healthy Leader, I was acutely aware that readers wanted the last four chapters of the book first, i.e. what I call the outer life, the immediate practical helps to improve their leadership. The problem is that all our leadership tasks are informed by who we are, i.e. our inner life. For this reason, the first half of the book is dedicated to unpacking those core issues. And the first inner life issue every leader must confront is his or her shadow. Why? Everyone has a shadow. Shadows are those untamed emotions and behaviors that lie, largely unconscious, beneath the surface of our lives that constitute the damaged versions of who we are. They may be sinful;. Read more.

Where are You on the Wise/Foolish Spectrum?

We classify people in different ways – by race, the language they speak, economic class, age, geography, educational level, even personality type. God classifies people in the book of Proverbs as mockers, fools, or the wise. Where might you be on the Wise/Foolish spectrum today? Mockers (or scoffers) are referred to 17x in Proverbs. They are extremely proud, shameless, and foolish. These are abusers and dictators who throw people away (e.g. Hitler/Stalins). Proverbs acknowledges there are those few “evil” people that, while not beyond redemption, are particularly unteachable. They are the extreme end of the foolish spectrum. Fools (or the simple) are mentioned 65x. This is the great mass of people. These are the naïve, the easily influenced, the impulsive, and the impatient. Fools wander into messes without thinking because they prefer to not do the hard work of thinking things through or asking hard questions. The wise (or prudent) is God’s goal for. Read more.