Category Archives: listening to God

Of Course You’re Coming to My House for Thanksgiving!

Unmet and unclear expectations create havoc in our churches, places of employment, friendships, and families – especially around holidays like Thanksgiving. Of course you’re coming to Thanksgiving this year. We’re important to you, aren’t we? I’m so disillusioned. I expected that you would make an effort to get here early to help. If you cared about me, you would take time to ask me how I was doing. I can’t believe they didn’t ask what they could bring to dinner this year and just showed up! We expect other people to know what we want before we say it. Most of our expectations are unconscious, unrealistic, unspoken and un-agreed upon. Clarifying Expectations is one of the most important skills we teach in The Emotionally Healthy Skills Course. The principle is as follows: Take a few minutes to consider the expectations you have around this Thanksgiving – ones that that may leave you angry, disappointed,. Read more.

Looking for God in Our Limits

Going beyond our limits is one of the most significant challenges and temptations we face as leaders. Why? It touches the core of our tendency to want to play God and run the world. Adam and Eve’s original temptation of rebellion against God was all about limits. God gave them enormous freedom in the Garden of Eden. Then, without explanation, God sets a boundary before them. They were to bow humbly, to surrender, before his incomprehensible ways. Ask yourself: Why don’t I take appropriate care of myself? Why do I feel like am never “finished”? Why don’t I spend enough time reflecting on my interior world? Why do I always feel as if there is too little time and too much to do? Why do I feel chronically restless? Why do I have so little margin or flexibility? Why don’t I invest the time I need in my marriage, my children, or a healthy. Read more.

Second Hand Spirituality Churches

Most people in our churches are living off other people’s spirituality. In fact, many are imitating a spirituality with Jesus for which they have little first–hand experience. It is easy to live off the life of God in someone else (e.g. the Apostle Paul’s handkerchief, Peter’s shadow, or Elisha’s bones) than to have our own direct experience. Anointed sermons and worship can keep people excited about Jesus and in the pews, but that may still be second-hand. The question is: Are our people developing and growing in their own personal, immediate relationship with Jesus during the week? How can we know? That is much more challenging to measure than numbers and budgets. In our overloaded culture where people are so distracted and busy, this may be our greatest challenge to effectively impact our communities. How can our people give away something (i.e. Jesus) if they do not possess Him? We invest enormous time, energy,. Read more.

My #1 Mistake as a Leader

For the first 17 years of my Christian life I grew in knowledge and leadership experience. I worked with university students full-time, graduated from seminary, and started a church. My leadership gifts blossomed. The size and impact of the ministry expanded. The problem was that growing in love was not my number one aim. I focused on bigger, better, and faster – like most of the leaders around me. I wasn’t asking myself: Am I meeker, patient, soft, safe, approachable, courageous, kind, and honest this year than I was last year? Am I less easily triggered under stress? Am I breaking my bad habits from my family of origin (e.g. stuffing resentments, lying when hurt, resolving conflicts poorly, not being attentive)? Are people close to me experiencing me as loving? A revolution took place in my life when I read Jonathan Edward’s sermons on 1 Corinthians 13:1-3. His exegesis and insights launched a Copernican. Read more.

Family Devotions: A Hard Lesson Learned

Every stage of our life offers us new opportunities to mature- especially in our leadership. One of the most difficult areas to do this, of course, is with our own families. Last month, two of our four daughters set out for an extended time away – one to Spain with her husband for one year, and a second to Australia to work/travel for 1-2 years with her friends. Over the years I have wrestled with the question: How do I respect their independence/separateness (especially in their journey with Christ), while at the same time, keep Jesus as a core value in our family? There is no one “right way” to do devotional time with our children –regardless of their age. So I do have my share of stories about failed “devotional times” with our children at many stages in our family history. But in this case at least, three things bore great fruit. I. Read more.

EH Leader Podcast:Practicing Sabbath Delight

What does it mean to lead out of your Sabbath? In this month’s Emotionally Healthy Leader Podcast, Pete Scazzero and Rich Villodas share their thoughts on Sabbath and its impact on their lives and leadership. Pete and Rich discuss Sabbath as a counter cultural concept and core spiritual formation discipline which has direct impact on how we lead. You can read more in depth on Sabbath and leadership in The Emotionally Healthy Leader book. Watch the conversation by clicking the image below. We encourage you to share with others.

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