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Category Archives: slow down

Emotionally Healthy Vacations

Vacations offer a unique opportunity to integrate and apply our theology. But like all areas of discipleship (e.g. relationships, sexuality, work, singleness, marriage, retirement, money), this requires intentionality. Otherwise, we fall into the pattern of doing vacations like our family of origin or the wider culture. Each of us comes into vacations differently. Some of us, for example, have small children, aging parents, a special needs child, or severe financial constraints. Moreover, each of us has a specific temperament, personality, and set of passions. Last year, I wrote a blog entitled Turning Your Vacations into Sabbaticals, applying the principles of weekly Sabbaths to our vacations. Here I want to offer you five words, or principles, that have helped Geri and I structure our “vacations” each year: Prayer. This is so obvious that we easily miss it! Take time to be still before the Lord and listen (Ps 37:7). You may be surprised. Thoughtfulness. Wise. Read more.

You Know You are a Perfectionist When


Pursuing excellence in our leadership is a good thing. Perfectionism is not. Perfectionism, that refusal to accept a standard short of perfection, is the shadow side of excellence – undermining the best of who we are, limiting our ability to love, and damaging our leadership of others. How do I know? I know perfectionism so well in myself. Part of what makes us human is our imperfections and mistakes. Only God is perfect. At times I wonder if the church, in our desire to reach the world for Jesus, has hired a Pharaoh of perfectionism to help us. Sadly, many of us don’t need an external slave driver. We carry our own internal Pharaoh who drives us not to accept flaws and blemishes in our performance. The following are my top 10 signs that God uses to stop me when I fall into the sin of perfectionism: I am anxious – a lot. I. Read more.

10 Reasons We Don’t Let Go

Jesus models for us a letting go of control, earthly power, and reputation. He empties Himself at the cross, trusting in the goodness and love of the Father.  God intends that we follow the same path. Yet, in situations both the large and small, we find this incredibly difficult. Why? I have been wrestling with our dilemma for months. Last week I preached a message on this entitled: The Cross: The Deepest Wisdom of God. Afterwards, I found myself listing the top reasons why I, along with so many others, continue to resist the very thing (our need to let go of control) that is the rich source of so much life and power. The following are my top ten reasons: Fear. Is it any wonder God says to us over and over again in Scripture—Do not fear? Things will fall apart. That is true – at least the things that God never intended. Read more.

Is the Church a Potemkin Village?

Catherine the Great (1729-1796), Russia’s great empress, had a Field Marshall named Grigori Potemkin who organized a tour of southern Russia for her. The tour was planned over 4 years and covered a distance of 1000 miles. To impress the Empress, Potemkin created fake villages where “happy” peasants were transported back and forth. All along the way Catherine gazed out on seemingly happy subjects lining the streets. Thus, the term Potemkin village entered our vocabulary to refer to “an impressive facade, or show, created to hide an undesirable fact or condition.” How much of the Western church, and particularly the church in the United States, is a Potemkin village – with numbers, glitz, and sizzle – but little depth? Truth be told, we have large numbers of “Christ-followers” in our churches who: Live off the spirituality of others; Pray and read Scripture very little; Are enslaved to pornography and romance novels; Have not had. Read more.

EH Leader Podcast: Embracing Silence

I seriously embraced the spiritual practice of silence 13 years ago, and my relationship with Jesus began to deepen and widen in ways that I never could have imagined. This podcast is our invitation to you to seriously consider deepening your practice of being still before Him (Ps. 37:7). For as Isaac of Nineveh (7th century) said so eloquently:  If you love truth, be a lover of silence.  It brings you a fruit that tongues cannot describe.  In the beginning we have to force ourselves to be silent. But then, a certain sweetness is born in the heart and the body is drawn almost by force to remain in silence.  Click the video below to watch or the link to listen to the audio file. LISTEN HERE  

Top 10 Blogs of 2015

As we enter a New Year I like to take time to review and listen afresh to what God might be saying and doing. This process includes my blog. The blogs that I thought were most important (e.g. Beyond an Airbrushed Spirituality) didn’t make the top ten.  Blogs that I considered less important did.  A key lesson for me is that people are very interested in detailed applications of EHS in different, real life situations (e.g. “Emotionally Healthy Birthday Planning” is a future blog). Here are my top ten posts from 2015: 10 Qualities of an Emotionally Healthy Wedding Top 10 Quotes from Elie Wiesel’s Memoirs Characteristics of the Emotionally Unhealthy Leader Quit Living Someone Else’s Life  Four Steps to a Meaningful Sabbath  You Know Your Not Doing Endings Well When  Quit Overfunctioning  Four Unhealthy Commandments of Church Leadership  My #1 Mistake as a Leader  Why Can’t We Slow DownÂ