Being an emotionally unhealthy leader is not an all-or-nothing condition; it operates on a continuum that ranges from mild to severe, and may change from one season of life and ministry to the next. The following is a one of the assessments I developed for the upcoming Emotionally Healthy Leader (Zondervan, 2015) book I have been writing for the last year and a half. Use the list of statements that follow to get an idea of where you’re at right now. Next to each statement, write down the number that best describes your response.
Use the following scale:
5 = Always true of me
4 = Frequently true of me
3 = Occasionally true of me
2 = Rarely true of me
1 = Never true of me
| _____ 1. I take sufficient time to experience and process difficult emotions such as anger, fear, and sadness. |
| _____ 2. I am able to identify how issues from my family of origin impact my relationships and leadership—both negatively and positively. |
| _____ 3. (If married): The way I spend my time and energy reflects the value that my marriage—not ministry—is my first priority as a leader. |
| (If single): The way I spend my time and energy reflects the value that living out a healthy singleness—not ministry—is my first priority as a leader. |
| _____ 4. (If married): I experience a direct connection between my oneness with Jesus and oneness with my spouse. |
| (If single): I experience a direct connection between my oneness with Jesus and closeness with my friends and family. |
| _____ 5. No matter how busy I am, I consistently practice the spiritual disciplines of solitude and silence. |
| _____ 6. I regularly read Scripture and pray in order to enjoy communion with God and not just in service of ministry tasks. |
| _____ 7. I practice Sabbath—a weekly twenty-four-hour period in which I stop my work, rest, and delight in God’s many gifts. |
| _____ 8. I view Sabbath as a spiritual discipline that is essential for both my personal life and my leadership. |
| _____ 9. I take time to practice prayerful discernment when making ministry plans and decisions. |
| _____ 10. I measure the success of planning and decision-making primarily in terms of discerning and doing God’s will (rather than exclusively by measures such as attendance growth, excellence in programming, or expanded impact in the world). |
| _____ 11. With those who report to me, I consistently devote a portion of my supervision time to help them in their inner life with God and to accomplish their ministry goals. |
| _____ 12. I do not avoid difficult conversations with team members about their performance or behavior. |
| _____ 13. I feel comfortable talking about the use of power in connection with my role and that of others. |
| _____ 14. I have articulated and established healthy boundaries in relationships that have overlapping roles (for example, with friends and family who are also employees or key volunteers, etc.). |
| _____ 15. Instead of avoiding endings and losses, I embrace them and see them as a fundamental part of the way God works. |
| _____ 16. I am able to prayerfully and thoughtfully let go of initiatives, volunteers, or programs when they aren’t working well, doing so with compassion and right motives. |
Take a moment to briefly review your responses. What stands out most to you?
