We just completed our pastor, leader and spouse conference here at Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. It was a whirlwind of preparation, people, meetings, and speaking. We added a preconference on the skills Geri and I have been working on since September. People came from South Africa, Eastern Europe, England, Mongolia, Canada as well as from around the USA. It was wonderful and, of course, a great output of energy from us. Between that, our regular two day conference and then preaching on Sunday, I was quite spent and am taking it very slow this week.
Something major, however, happened in me this weekend.
I followed Christ and took a next step in my spiritual journey with Him by showing up LATE for church on Sunday. Yes LATE – for the first time in 20.5 years as Senior Pastor at NLF. Like slowing down for silence, Offices and Sabbath can feel like one is coming out of an addiction (I like to call it coming off crack). For me to show up late on Sunday was a major breakthrough.
To slow down Sunday morning, complete the preparation for my sermon without rushing, drive slowly to church, and relax about showing up at the end of the worship set was a large step of growth. I had to say “no” to the voices telling me I was a bad pastor for showing up late, not having the sermon done weeks in advance, not sitting in that front pew “modeling” the priority of worship, was a big step of growth for me. I am so, so used to pushing beyond my limits in moments like those.
My spirit filled with life once I made the decision to embrace my humanity Sunday morning. “Pete, you have just finished 3 days of a conference. You are about to preach 2 services on Sunday. Relax. You are not God. Everything is fine without you. God is building his church nicely without you!”
A wise person once said to me that successful people hear the same negative voices we all hear. They are just able to lower the volume and think clearly. Geri helped by saying, “Who cares? We have had a big weekend!” A few minutes of silence and it all became clear – the best thing I could do on Sunday morning for NLF and the visiting pastors was to walk out what I was preaching, that is limits, a contemplative life, attentiveness to God.
What might be some negative voices shouting at you today and how might you lower their volume to hear His voice?
