Unmet and unclear expectations create havoc in our churches, places of employment, friendships, and families – especially around holidays like Thanksgiving.
- Of course you’re coming to Thanksgiving this year. We’re important to you, aren’t we?
- I’m so disillusioned. I expected that you would make an effort to get here early to help.
- If you cared about me, you would take time to ask me how I was doing.
- I can’t believe they didn’t ask what they could bring to dinner this year and just showed up!
We expect other people to know what we want before we say it. Most of our expectations are unconscious, unrealistic, unspoken and un-agreed upon.
Clarifying Expectations is one of the most important skills we teach in The Emotionally Healthy Skills Course.
The principle is as follows:
Take a few minutes to consider the expectations you have around this Thanksgiving – ones that that may leave you angry, disappointed, or confused if they are not met. Then consider what might be assumptions others have of you that need to be clarified.
Growing as a Christ-follower requires we master new skills that we might offer the world the love of Jesus in tangible ways. Try it this week and see what God will do.
P.S. You may want to take a look at Geri and I teaching the Stop Mind Reading and Clarify Expectation Skill from the EH Skills Course.
