This past weekend Geri and I led another weekend for our small group around sexuality and spiritual formation. Once again, it confirmed to us that our sexuality lies at the heart of our spirituality and walk with Christ. We began this journey in early 1996 when we launched into emotionally healthy spirituality and remain convinced, that “as goes the leader’s sex life, so goes the church.” It is a startling conclusion, especially when we consider the state of discipleship aruond our sexuality in the church today (it is virtually non-existent for married couples). When I read a few months ago, for example, that spouses were encouraged to have sex for 30 days straight in order to improve their marriages, I was aghast. That is very long way from the biblical view of our sexuality, our humanity and God’s purposes. The following are a few thoughts we considered this past weekend: Our sexuality is all about our union and communion with our husband Jesus. The sexual union of a husband and wife was created to reflect and represent the closest meaning/experience with God’s love. The purpose of sexual union is to give us a picture, a hint in some way, of the glory, the ecstasy and bliss that awaits us in heaven. Literal marriage is not the point but marriage to Christ where we will have the ultimate experience of perfect love! As G.K. Chesterton said so well: “Every man who knocks on the door of a brothel is looking for God.” Few people have the maturity or emotional health to engage in healthy, mature sexuality within their marriages. That is a tragedy when one remembers God is the creator of something so wonderful. He did not hand it over to Satan. We as the church are called to lead the culture in restoring the dignity and glory of sex. Sadly, little training and equpping for leaders can be found in our seminaries, Bible schools or conferences. Most spiritual maturity, emotional health and self-differentiation issues are revealed in our sexuality. Numerous profound issues emerge in our sexual lives. For example: Am I engaged in sex with my spouse out of a need for them to validate me, to tell me I am okay, or is it truly about communion and connection? Am I able to talk clearly, honestly, respectfully, and directly about our preferences, desires, likes and dislikes? Am I clinging to my spouse sexually out of a need to calm my anxiety and thus using him/her? How do I/we resolve differences? Separateness and togetherness issues? Am I safe with my spouse? Am I safe with myself? What do you think?
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