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Tag Archives: betrayal

Ten Principles for Exercising Power and Wise Boundaries

I have been working hard in these months writing The Emotionally Healthy Leader (Zondervan, 2015). The following is a sidebar from a chapter on power and wise boundaries that I trust you will enjoy: Do an honest inventory of the power God has granted you. To be faithful we need to be profoundly aware of the various sources of power God has granted us. We are at risk to use it poorly if we ignore or minimize our power. Unresolved family of origin dynamics that are buried alive resurface when joined with power. The workplace and church are key places where our triggers and “hot buttons” will emerge. Enlist wise counsel to monitor dual relationships. Mentors, therapists, wise elders and mature friends give us perspective and counsel. It is critical we know our limits and defer to others discernment. Watch for early warning signs of danger. People change. We change. The church changes. What works now may not work. Read more.

The Gift of Winter

Parker Palmer’s work on the seasons is among the best I have read. The following is a part of what Geri used with our NLF staff team this past Tuesday to help us anchor ourselves in Him. There are few things more important for us as leaders than discerning the season of God -personally and corporately: Winter is a demanding season – and not everyone appreciates the discipline. It is a season when death’s victory can seem supreme: few creatures stir, plants do not visibly grow, and nature feels like our enemy. And yet the rigors of winter, like the diminishments of autumn, are accompanied by amazing gifts. One gift is beauty. I am not sure that any sight or sound on earth is as exquisite as the hushed descent of a sky full of snow. Another gift is the reminder that times of dormancy and deep rest are essential to all living things. But, for me,. Read more.

If Christians Could be Honest about These 10 Things (Part 2)

What would happen if Christians could be honest about: Why there is so much religious pathology in the church.  (There is quite a bit of pathology in all fields – from business to athletics to academia to construction workers.) Why so many young people leave the church. (Our spiritual formation often does not prepare them well for the doubts that come with leaving the “nest”. Yet this can be, at times, a healthy differentiation process for their development.) Why so many Christians don’t deal with their own “stuff”. (It is the same reason many non-Christians do not – it is very difficult.) Why we don’t live what we believe. (Few people in all walks of life do. This takes great integrity and awareness). Why life is still hard. (“He sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous” Matt. 5:45. This will not change this side of heaven). Why there is so much hypocrisy in. Read more.

If Christians Could be Honest about These 10 Things (Part 1)

What would happen if Christians could be honest about: Why there is so much religious pathology in the church. Why so many young people leave the church. Why so many Christians don’t deal with their own “stuff”. Why we don’t live what we believe. Why life is still hard. Why there is so much hypocrisy in the church. Why betrayal eventually visits every Christian. Why racism, classism, and sexism persist in the church. Why so many people in churches are judgmental. Why the church cannot meet all our needs. A friend of mine, a literary agent, asked if I could write a book responding to questions that she had struggled with for so much of her Christian life. I’m not interested in writing a book on the answers but I did expand and edit her list. I don’t find, however, that these questions are indictments on the church. Understanding the answers, actually, is key. Read more.