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Tag Archives: cruel

Shame and Leadership

Marjorie Thompson, inĀ The Way of Forgiveness (Upper Room Books), distinguishes between guilt and shame.Ā  She notes that guilt is about what we have done (ā€œI did something badā€) while shame is about who we are (ā€œI am badā€). Recognizing weā€™ve made a mistake, i.e. guilt, is very different from believing we are a mistake, i.e. shame. This led me, this past year and a half, into an exploration into shame ā€“in Scripture, in my own life, in conversations with seasoned therapists, and to researchers of shame like Brene Brown. Shame is cruel. Like a hidden taskmaster, it drives us to overachieve, overwork, overcompensate, and protect ourselves with a face that is not our own. Shame is, at its essence, demonic. We canā€™t lead well without resisting the shame-based messages that come to us from the culture, our churches, our failures, and inside our own head. We canā€™t lead well when we feel deeply flawed. Read more.