Tag Archives: emotional health

Four Unhealthy Commandments of Church Leadership

As I have been finishing the final small edits of The Emotionally Healthy Leader (Zondervan, July, 2015), I have been reminded again of how deeply in our bones many of us carry the following four deadly, faulty beliefs: 1. It’s Not a Success Unless It’s Bigger and Better Most of us have been taught to measure success by external markers. And let’s be clear—numbers aren’t all bad. In fact, quantifying ministry impact with numbers is actually biblical. But let’s also be clear that there is a wrong way to deal with numbers. When we use numbers to compare ourselves or to boast of our size, we cross a line. The problem isn’t that we count, it’s that we have so fully embraced the world’s dictum that bigger is better that numbers have become the only thing we count. What we miss in all this counting is the value Scripture places on internal markers as. Read more.

How Healthy Is Your Practice of Culture and Team Building?

We will be restructuring our Emotionally Healthy Leadership Conference 2015 in April around The Emotionally Healthy Leader book that I have recently completed (release date is July 2015). Each chapter has an assessment to help leaders get a sense of where they are as a starting point. The following is a sample one for you to consider around culture and team building: Use the list of statements that follow to briefly assess your leadership practice when it comes to culture and team building. Next to each statement, write down the number that best describes your response. Use the following scale: 5 = Always true of me 4 = Frequently true of me 3 = Occasionally true of me 2 = Rarely true of me 1 = Never true of me ______ 1. I invest in key people from my team, both in their transformation in Christ and in their skill or professional development. ______. Read more.

Racism, Emotional Health, and the Gospel

Our first nine years at New Life (1987-1996) were a painful, difficult, and often unsuccessful attempt, to bridge racial, cultural, economic, and gender barriers. We did not “break through” our massive differences until God’s answer to our cry through what we call today Emotionally Healthy Spirituality (EHS). EHS transformed our approach and language around reconciliation, giving us a more fully orbed theology, a new language, new tools, and a beneath the surface spirituality that deeply transformed us. EHS enabled us to build an authentic community with African Americans, West Indians, Koreans, Chinese, Filipinos, Indonesians, Whites, Peruvians, Colombians, Puerto Ricans, Dominicans, Poles, Jews, Palestinians, and Russians (to name a few). The result has been the miracle that New Life is today — a vibrant community of 1500+ people from over 73 nations that serves as a sign and wonder to the power of the gospel. The principles for how this has happened are outlined. Read more.

Why Transformation Takes So Long!

Last week at our two-day EHS Consultant Training, Wendy Seidman shared Bloom’s taxonomy of how people learn to help us understand why it takes so long for individuals and church/ministry cultures to “get” EHS. The following is her adaptation of Bloom’s classic work on the process people need to move through to really “get” something like EHS: 1- Aware. People hear about EHS for the first time (e.g. Sabbath, slowing down, past’s impact on the present, grieving, learning to feel). 2- Ponder. People think about it, trying to understand or sort through issues as they gather more information. At this point they don’t have a clear inclination for or against it. (e.g. They continue reading, listen to messages, go through the EHS Course, learn a few EHS Skills, talk about Sabbath with others). 3- Value. People think it’s important, find value in it, and commit to it, saying, “I really believe in this EHS. Read more.

Emotional Health Trumps IQ, Personality, and Gifts

Emotionally healthy spirituality (EHS) invites us to supervise and lead others, volunteer or paid, differently. Studies indicate that EQ (emotional quotient) is so critical that it accounts for 58% of performance in all types of jobs (Emotional Intelligence 2.0). EHS, with a much deeper commitment to transformation, accounts for a much higher percentage. In fact, emotional health trumps IQ, personality, education, experience, and gifts for church leaders. For example: John is a gifted, productive church planter, but the chaotic nature of his family of origin in his early history drives him to dominate and control every environment where he leads. Joan is so cautious and fearful of change as an executive assistant (coming out of her abuse growing up) that it colors the events she administers. Ron’s anxiety to grow the church and launch new initiatives comes partially out of a family script that says, “You are worthless unless you do something great.” We. Read more.

“A Healthy No”

Geri and I received an email yesterday from Sarah, a New Life member, about her application of EHS into her workplace. Hi Pete and Geri! I hope this brightens your day as it did mine! The truth behind boundaries, limits, and emotional health resonates with the affluent parents at the school I teach at! Our students are often committed to many different activities. At our information meeting for our spring musical the past two years, I’ve started painting a picture of “A Healthy No.” I give the students permission to say no if the commitment would be too much for them. Here is an encouraging email I received this morning…. I wanted to thank you for articulating, “A Healthy No,” when you spoke at the Musical Parent’s Meeting last week! I love that phrase and made a note of it when you were speaking. It’s a reasonable and respectful statement for people to both say and hear and. Read more.

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