Tag Archives: life

Shame, Guilt, and Leadership

How much of our leadership is actually driven by guilt and shame? In broad terms, shame has to do with feeling about who we are; guilt is related to our feelings about what we do. They both rob us of the profound experience that we are God’s beloved children. We may feel deep, hidden shame about who we are because of addictive behaviors or dysfunctional choices. We may feel shame due to negative messages from our family of origin – “You are no good.” “You’re a loser.” “You’ll never amount to anything.” Then there is the shaming nature of so much Western Christianity. As one author said, “My very being was so sinful that God himself was enraged.” She recognized later that she was trying to repent her way out of what she thought was guilt. Some of us don’t need to repent. We need to be rescued from our shame. Ask the Lord to. Read more.

Sorrow that Transforms – Newtown, CT

We join the families of those twenty children as we watch their funerals – two yesterday and, probably, more today. Jeremiah wrote a book called Lamentations in the midst of his unspeakable horror. David wrote two-thirds of the Psalms out of his pain. Consider the words of Gerald Sittser. May they serve you as they have served me. In A Grace Disguised, after the horrific loss of his daughter, wife, and mother in a car accident, he wrote: “Catastrophic loss by definition precludes recovery. It will transform us or destroy us, but it will never leave us the same. There is no going back to the past…It is not therefore true that we become less through loss – unless we allow the loss to make us less, grinding our soul down until there is nothing left…Loss can also make us more. I did not get over the loss of my loved ones; rather, I. Read more.

Leading Yourself

I received a letter recently that I wrote to myself after a 3 day retreat over seven months ago. It reminded me again that I am the most difficult person for me to lead! The following are a few rich nuggets of gold from this short letter: 1. Remember what you are all about. (In my case, it was to take 30-50% of my time to write). 2. Guard your spirit from trifles, fast from overconsuming, and forget what others think. (See “The Woodcarver” story). 3. Feel your own weight and density. There is no need to wear other people’s faces (See the poem, “Now I Become Myself”). 4. Go to the fields and be lovely. Come back when you are through with blooming. (See the poem entitled, “Camas Lillies). 5. Stay the course and be kind to yourself. For a free sermon I preached on what it means to live a life where. Read more.

"Getting Saved"

Geri shared the following out of a Conversations Journal article by Henry Cloud entitled “Getting Saved” at a recent NLF Marriage Leadership Meeting. Her goal was to help us refocus on the central themes of our spiritual formation for the ministry in 2012-2013. God wants to heal (i.e. save) us and the people we lead so that we can do the following: 1. Connect Deeply with God and Others. Emotional connection is central to life. The Trinity lives in unbroken communion and union. God exists, three in one, in an ongoing, unbroken relationship; He created us for the same. How are your emotional connections with God and your family? 2. Establish Boundaries. God is free from the ones He loves. He stands up to the ones He is in relationship with, and set limits when He is violated. He is free from being controlled by those He loves. For relational or psychological problems to. Read more.

Midday Staff Prayer — Julian of Norwich

NLF Staff Midday Prayer Sept. 26, 2012 Stillness and Silence – 2 minutes to be still First Reading: Ps. 146 1 Praise the Lord.Praise the Lord, my soul. 2 I will praise the Lord all my life;I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.3 Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save. 4 When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing. 5 Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord their God 6 He is the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them—he remains faithful forever…The Lord lifts up those who are bowed down… The Lord reigns forever, your God, O Zion, for all generations. Praise the Lord. Second Reading – Lamentations 3: 21-27 21 Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: 22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. 23 They. Read more.

The Hidden, Invisible Presence of Jesus

Yesterday, at our NLF staff Christmas party, I led a devotional around Bruegel the Elder’s Census at Bethlehem painting from the 16th century. Using Juliet Benner’s guide in Contemplative Vision: A Guide to Christian Art and Prayer, I shared out of the overflow of how God met me in this portrayal of Luke 2:4-5. As Mary and Joseph approach the village to register for the census (See her on a donkey on the center right), we see a crowd of people seeking to get into the inn. We also observe many others carrying heavy loads burdened by the harshness of their lives. Each is so engrossed and absorbed in their own affairs and activities that Mary, Joseph and Jesus are invisible to them. Would I have turned to Mary or Joseph and asked about their story if I were there? Probably not. I suspect I would have been too busy. God is so close. Read more.

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