How to Succeed with Sabbath: Practical Steps for Busy Leaders

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Why Low Differentiation Kills Teams
Posted on: Tuesday April 01, 2025
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👉 Take the free EHD Maturity Assessment: emotionallyhealthy.org/mature

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Most pastors and leaders are trained to preach, strategize, and serve—but few are ever taught how to lead from a deeply anchored, differentiated self. And yet, this is the foundation for every healthy team and ministry.

In today’s episode, I unpack one of the most overlooked killers of team health and mission: low differentiation. Drawing from Family Systems Theory, the leadership of David and Jesus, and my own hard-earned lessons over decades, I’ll share four critical reasons why low differentiation sabotages your team—and what you can do about it.

When leaders overfunction, avoid hard conversations, or build their identity on others’ approval, it fractures their soul and destabilizes the team. But when you lead from a solid self—rooted in God, not the demands around you—you raise the maturity level of everyone around you.

This is the crucible of spiritual leadership: becoming yourself in Christ, for the sake of others.

Listen in. It may change how you lead forever.

 

Archives:
Tuesday November 13, 2018

Saying no to leadership opportunities, and the increased impact and influence they can afford, is not a topic talked about very often today. For that we need to look at the work of the Holy Spirit in the history of the church. In Part 2 of this series, Pete looks at two towering figures in particular: Bernard of Clairvaux and Gregory of Nazianzus.

 

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Tuesday November 06, 2018

As people who lead in the name of Jesus, we are not to enter every open door or seize every new opportunity. Why? Doing so outside of God’s timetable damages both ourselves and his long-term kingdom mission in the world. In this podcast Pete talks about three reasons we ought to consider pausing to pray before saying yes to new leadership opportunities before us.

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Tuesday October 30, 2018

Pete offers highlights from the eight charts that formed the basis of his book, The Emotionally Healthy Leader, contrasting the standard practice of how we typically do leadership vs. an emotionally healthy way, and talks about his new free e-book: Why Leadership Matters for a Discipleship that Deeply Changes Lives.

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Tuesday October 23, 2018

Pete explores the story (with its present-day applications) of God directing Elijah to go to a desert for silence and solitude.

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Tuesday October 16, 2018

This podcast looks at Jesus’ intentional movement from active ministry with people to times of solitude in a desert place in order to be alone with the Father. It also examines practical ways we can develop a similar rhythm of finding our “desert” with God—regardless of the unique season or circumstances in which we find ourselves.

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Tuesday October 09, 2018

In this podcast you will hear a message on God’s invitation - at every stage of our life and leadership - to grasp ever more deeply that we are his “beloved,” i.e. we are deeply loved by him. Getting this truth frees us from the demonic voices that tempt us to get our loveability from other sources and fills us with the courage we need to do God’s will regardless of where it leads.
   

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Tuesday October 02, 2018

In part 2 of this series, Pete talks about 4 additional gifts/applications from the Desert Fathers and Mothers that offer a challenge to us in leadership today.

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Tuesday September 25, 2018

At the end of the third century Christian men and women began to flee the cities and villages of the Nile Delta in Egypt to seek God in the desert. In this podcast, Pete talks about what he believes is their contribution and gift for us today – both in our leadership and in our discipling of others.

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Tuesday September 18, 2018

Pete expands on the 7 primary lessons (or gifts) from the Rule of Benedict that have profoundly influenced his life and leadership.

 

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Tuesday September 11, 2018

The pressure to present an image of ourselves as strong and spiritually “together” hovers over most of us. We forget that not one of us is perfect and that we are all sinners. Pete explores Psalm 51 as a model for us, concluding with a few thoughts about our need to climb a ladder of humility if we are to lead well.

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