👉 Take the free EHD Maturity Assessment: emotionallyhealthy.org/mature
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Most pastors and leaders are trained to preach, strategize, and serve—but few are ever taught how to lead from a deeply anchored, differentiated self. And yet, this is the foundation for every healthy team and ministry.
In today’s episode, I unpack one of the most overlooked killers of team health and mission: low differentiation. Drawing from Family Systems Theory, the leadership of David and Jesus, and my own hard-earned lessons over decades, I’ll share four critical reasons why low differentiation sabotages your team—and what you can do about it.
When leaders overfunction, avoid hard conversations, or build their identity on others’ approval, it fractures their soul and destabilizes the team. But when you lead from a solid self—rooted in God, not the demands around you—you raise the maturity level of everyone around you.
This is the crucible of spiritual leadership: becoming yourself in Christ, for the sake of others.
Listen in. It may change how you lead forever.
In 2024, church leaders will be sifted left and right.
Mature from immature.
Wise from foolish.
Substantial from surface level.
This I know – the most effective leaders (and the ones worth following) will draw a line in the sand and put a full stop to accepting a rushed, cluttered, and constricted life.
They will reject speed, crowds, and noise in favor of a graceful, unrushed way of life. I call this lifestyle "spaciousness". It's one of the secret weapons of true spiritual mothers and fathers of the faith.
On today's podcast, I explore the theme of spaciousness, making applications for how leaders can resist the way of the world, and decisively shift into a new way of life with Jesus.
Leaders in 2024 are facing pressures and challenges greater than any other in my lifetime.
Elections, wars, rumors of wars, economic pressure, global instability, scandals, artificial intelligence, etc.
This may seem overwhelming, but there is a unique opportunity before us. As leaders, this will require the decision to radically re-align ourselves to God's purposes and plans in the world today.
On today's podcast, I share some personal reflections on what I believe "radical realignment" looks like and then offer 3 specific invitations from God in this season.
For the first 17 years of my Christian life, my emotional life was completely divorced from my spiritual life. Or so I thought.
When sadness, anger, or disappointment surfaced from my soul, I did not see them as gifts. As a leader, I saw my emotions as interruptions to "my real work" – moving the church forward and reaching the lost!
As a result, I was not present with myself, with God, or with others. I saw my sadness as something to be overcome through prayer and Scripture. I would declare, "the joy of the Lord is my strength!" while ignoring the deep cries of my heart.
The truth is that emotions never die. They are only buried alive. They always resurface, leaking into other parts of our lives and relationships.
It took a work of God for this to change in my life and marriage. When my wife Geri and I discovered the permission to explore our emotional life, it was like opening up a dam. The world went from black and white to color almost overnight.
Emotionally healthy leaders see their emotions as invitations, not obstacles to the mission of God.
The fruit of this journey leads to less anxiety and more freedom in our lives, leadership, and relationships.
In today's podcast episode, my wife Geri and I share more about the skill of emotional discovery we call "Explore the Iceberg" in Emotionally Healthy Relationships.
Bottom line, your emotional life is a matter of life and death!
Leaders, by definition, are captivated by the future – moving forward, making progress, and changing the world.
But what many leaders fail to appreciate is that we are all anchored in our past. In other words, none of us are "blank slates". We each bring the blessings and curses of our families of origin (Exodus 20:5) into our relationships, churches, organizations, and businesses.
Emotionally healthy leaders understand that you cannot go forward without first going backward.
That is why the GENOGRAM is one of the core tools in both parts of the Emotionally Healthy Discipleship Course.
When I became a Christian, I believed I was a "new creation" (2 Cor. 5:17) and that I no longer needed to deal with my past. However, when I discovered the genogram tool, I found a new way to bring all of the baggage of my family of origin to Jesus to be changed.
The truth is – you cannot change what you are unaware of.
In today's podcast episode, Geri and I share our history with this powerful tool and how it helped us name the reality of our past to catalyze the transforming work of Jesus in our lives and leadership. Don't miss this one!